out of my mind.....again????

its been some times i havent think of a person this much
im longing for his SMS that seems like forever
to know that my birthday exist in his reminder
he cross my mind more than my stomach signals for food
tell you,i actually dont know much bout this dude
i think me and him totally contradict
im not sure the extent he would tolerate with it
fear me not the fact that people do change
im a big gurl kan? i can face that constraint (yahrite..)
sum to all i am still being me
take it or leave it, in my heart he will be.....

_____________________________________________________________fallin'_______________

huarrghhh..yaikkkss!

ellow my blog, its been so long.not tht my schedule as tite as paris hilton (y d heck tht her name crossed? but finally i recognized her as a caleB..) maybe after all this raya thing, not only im too lazy to move a muscle..but my nerves also gettin lazy to send pulse to my brain.the fact tht its biologically always lackof oxygen tht routinely makes sleeping as my fav behavior, things are pretty critical now..ayoo...

slmt puasa

"its better for gurls to have beauty than brains coz boys see better than they think" ............
im not sure about it, but there's mayb some truth in it...if not, why does ppl question???
u think....

bisa rasa..........

adakah sendu itu sayu

adakah kuyu itu layu

adakah batu itu kaku

adakah itu ini perlu

siapa dia hakim?

laksana menentu qada'ku menggubal qadarku

merangkulku dan menghunusku

menobatku ratu, sahaya juga aku

ahhhh! ludahkan saja biar sakit

telankan saja biar perit

meskipun waktu membahagi jauh

mengapa jasad terdorong patuh

pabila keraguan kian utuh

mewajib jiwaku jatuh

emosi tidak terasuh

lantas rapuh

makhluk beridentiti manusia

hiduplah atas paksi usia

fikirlah bawah yang dicita

jangan yang digenggam bolos

yang digapai itu kabus

heAven on eArth !!!!!!

crazyly beautiful + amazingly fabulous = ^reDang^

so swimmers, diVe iN~~~ >>> (",)

nanananana__ganu kiter~!

pulau redang here i come... hehehe.. thats the destination i finally decided to 'cuti2 malaysia' this semester.. so starting tomorrow..dah jadik gadis pulau arr.. balik tanned... cehHH~ hahahaha... mengarut je dBa nih... bubuiii...wish me lotsa fun..

tp sdey sket sbb i didnt manage to bring my closest friends along due to some unavoidable reasons.. pity huh~

hell-messed gurl *tingtong****

looking back to whut i've done to some ppl, they dont deserve to be treated as such.its not like i keep on buggin them wif my probs (eh, ye jugak), but somehow i just havta depent or rely to somebody.. and eventualy, it is them who i most preferred. i tried hard not to burden ppl, i rather to be burdened (honest!) but no matter what i do, whut i did, whut i plan to do... the result always goes the other way around.. sick!! knape la nasib aku slalu *kiok*... plus my physical illness n mental disorder= just great~ ehm,recently i hav a few misunderstandings..

wif somebody, actually we understand each other (i think..) but the problem is.. we didnt confront our prob.i dont even notice that we have a prob until (",) mentioned it to someone who luckily told me bout it.. i never consider (",) a problem or a burden to me..but (",) thinks so..but i do think that i am a burden to (",) and selalu menyusahkan dia.. so both of us like blaming ourselv for menyusahkan the other party, and think that the best solution is to take a step back from each other, so that it brings to "aku taknak nyusahkan ko dah"...maybe we prefer it to be kept and settle sendiirik2...which i agree is ssoooooo not the best way.. (as if i hav other options ek?) pk2 balik macam bangang je... a friend of mine slalu cakap..dia nak lagakan je kepala aku ngan (",) so that dua2 bleh think straight again.. (i think u shud fren,hihi) ... but things happened and i dunno how to turn it back to normal.. so whut i wud do now (the least i can do) is hoping and praying.. (",) for the very best ... i dont mean to hurt (",) ..it hurts me to hurt (",)...

misery

first of all..HAPPY FRIENDSHIP DAY to all my friends out there.. i really cheerish lasting friendship..i do.. and treasure all the memories that we have shared,along the rocky road each of us hav been tru. i know as we all r heading different ways, we seldom hav time to show how much we missed each otha, how much we really wanted to see each otha.. actually its not that we r lack of time..but actually..urm,how to say.. we made some new friends..yah, new friends to entertain n hangout wif.. dont lie,sometimes we forget our friends back in school.. but when the time comes.. feel tuh datang balik..like now.. a friend of mine is organizing a reunion.. i really feel that i wanna go..but in the same time.. i dont think that im ready to face them all... i dont think i have a face to show them.. my life hav been really sux especialy around this few weeks...

problem..everybody got their own problem.. whut differs is how we manage it.no matter how big or small.. the way you handle it that matters.. i know, its easy for me to say..i also failed in handling mine..im now so lost that i dont know whuts the idea of suddenly going to the computer lab and updating my blog..where im suppose to be back at my room resting.. i really am not well.. i can sum it all up with the statement "i lost 4 kg in one week".. i lost my appetite.. and now im losing my guts as well as my will.... i just dont know who can i trust.. utk tolong dba.. who will not hesitate to lend me an ear everytime i need a listener,who give me the stare thats inspire me to be stronger..who doesnt complaint why im crying so hard that i should have try to overcome this problem harder... im talking rubbish am i???????? i lost myself..whut shud i do..... =(

maKeover dBa..huahuahua

hehehhe...when i start to think about whut i've done for the past few days... i cant stop smiling.. it was ........ interesting....... yah ... like i've devoted myself to a new transformation of physical n mind...hahahahha/// dah2 jgn merapu..nk masuk kelas... 8th july was my birthday .. so it suppose to be interesting... =P

SETIU AKU CABAR KAU!!!

hehehe... SetiU Menjerit lah pulak... actually im going to setiu, terengganu tonite.. for Baktisiswa Perdana UniTEn.. im excited but a little bit scare..i dunno who would be my parents 'angkat', what might happen... well. they say tht the kampung tht we are going to stay for a week is ala2 kampung nelayan ghitu.. so-so lah kann.. what worries me most is if the toilet is outside the house.. can i keep my so called 'biological waste' for tht long?? jadi...fikir dulu sebelum buang.. opss...fikir dulu sebelum makan.. sbb nanti tak tahu macam mana nk buang ..huhuhu =P

LONELY_______________________LONER

Lonely im so lonely,

I have nobody,

To call my owwnnn

Im so lonely,

im mr. Lonely

I have nobody,

To call my owwnnn

Im so lonely.....

Yo this one here goes out to all my playas out there

ya kno got to have one good girl whose always been there like

ya kno took all the bullshit then one day she cant take it no more and decides to leave

I woke up in the middle of the night and I noticed my girl wasn't by my side,

coulda sworn I was dreamin, for her I was

Feenin, so I hadda take a little ride, back tracking ova these few years,

tryna figure out wat I do to make it go bad, cuz

Ever since my girl left me, my whole life came crashin

+++

Cant belive I hadda girl like you and I just let you walk right outta my life,

after all I put u thru u still stuck around and stayed by my side,

what really hurt me is I broke ur heart, baby you were a good girl and I had no right,

I really wanna make things right, cuz without u in my life girl

+++

Been all about the world ain't neva met a girl that can take the things that you been through

Never thought the day would come where you would get up and run and I would be out chasing u

Cuz aint nowhere in the globe id rather be, aint no one in the globe id rather see then the girl of my dreams that made me be so happy but now so lonely

+++

Never thought that id be alone, I didnt hope you'd be gone this long,

I jus want u to call my phone, so stop playing girl and come on home (come on home),

baby girl I didn't mean to shout, I want me and you to work it out,

I never wished Id ever hurt my baby, and its drivin me crazy cuz...

Im so lonely (so lonely)

Im mr. Lonely (mr. Lonely)

I have nobody (I have nobody)

To call my own (to call my own) girll

Lonely, so lonely

So lonely, (so lonely),

Mr. Lonely, so lonely

So lonely, so lonely, (so lonely),

Mr. Lonely

+++

Tadi somebody sms me and he wrote the chorus of that song.. (suara cHipmunks tuh cute seh..)

suddenly somethg crossed my mind..

how i wish i can make someone so lonely, damn lonely

that he will crave back to me

begging not to leave him

my mission will be considered accomplish when he dedicate this song to me..

to some extent that even he is a loner he realize that he cannot live without me

hahaha.. and at that point i'll be honoured to reject him

refuse to look,

refuse to listen and

refuse to give chance

wah, this is hatred... takutnya...

jiwa kacau

Dear,

i just came back from a journey, a quest of searching something tht infinitely questionable..
ive been through so many things, yet neglecting more of my obligation of creation... aper aku mengarut nih.. actualy aku rasa mcm tak tenang..makin hari makin serabut..tak sure tentang apa..tapi rasanya tentang dia.
apa?kenapa dia? dia siapa? ..kenapa aku perlu dia!!? bodohnya... kenapa perempuan seperti aku begitu lemah sehinggakan membiarkan dirinya dimanipulasikan..mengapa satu entiti dr kaum Adam ini begitu dominan walhal kunjungannya tidakku undang, laungannya tidak ku sahut, peluangnya tidakkan ku rebut..
aku ingin berkongsi>>>

kalaulah cik siput boleh berlari
kan dikeliling buana tika dinihari

kalaulah si gonggok lancang bersuara
dibelanya nasib mitra teraniaya

kalaulah termaktub unggas bertangan dua
nescaya tercabar sang semut pekerja kota

kalaulah pak belang tompoknya menjadi
masakan bahtera dirampas kemudi

kalaulah sang monyet tinggal di sisiran
ketam berjenaka, ikan bersiulan

apa semua ini?

kalaulah fantasi bertukar realiti
mungkinkah imaginasi akan lebih bererti?

andai duniawi dikocak naluri
adakah nafsu bertakhta dihati?

alangkah ria riak wajah
alangkah sayu melankolik menerjah

dimana fokus hijabmu?
dimana mata akalmu?

mengapa kau tak sependirian
masihkah terus aku dikemudiankan....................

Dear diary, u know i like to write things and u know how much i love to have someone as a listener..
but pity u r not responding.. u know whut, i started to write when i was still young i can say..
i dont need you becoz i have someone to share everything with. my teens time was remarkably fun and exciting...but what ive experienced in the past few days is hard to identified.i truly hope that it would be

R E W A R D I N G.


+ is that too much to ask??????!!!

my all-time friend...we'Re the taPah toWn gurLss...huahuahuaaa.... (at my houSe tuh..) 

tentang dia ialah tentang saya...............

TENTANG DIA>>> finally dba dah tgk citer nih. nk kata best sgt tuh, pd dBa xlah best sgt..tapi touching jgk laa..mayb siapa yg pernah rasa 'disakitin' or 'dikhianatin' akan lebey fhm whut its all about..citer nih menarik dr segi how it projects love as a very universal and subjective matter..cinta pd Tuhan, ibu bapa, adik beradik, sahabat dan kekasih.. part yg best masa Randu ngan Gadis dLm hujan,,kire kLimax arr tuh, sedih wa ckp lu..btol ckp gaDis,, mayB stengah org tak tahu or faHam apa rasanye 'disakitin' dan 'dikhianatin'.... RASA SAKIT BANGAT!!!!!!!hahahhaha.... dBa suka gak ayat si Rudi ckp kt Gadis >>

" lo boleh nggak percaya sama org..tapi kalau lo nggak percaya sama org yg syg tulus sama lo,,
itu beda tau nggak!! itu namanya pengkhianatan...dan itu sakiton! "

huyyoo.... kesimpulan nyer ... korang simpulkanlah sendiri... dBa bkn nyer pakar sgt dlm bab2 nih.. boJed sure masTer.. daH baper ramai yg ko 'sakitin dan khianatin' nih bojed? hahaha =P
anyway, some1 pnh ckp kt dBa "i can shut u off completely from my life, if i want to" ___
perghh... tht hurts...............................................

nih gMbr aku poyopoyos nk jadik modeL... nk catwalk x cukup tinggi, so tiRu patung pun jadikLaa..hahaahaha.. anyway, nih time aku g high tea miNahss opisss arituh.. =P 

counting days..............

huaaa... boring........... nk kahwin..... =P

Ada Apa Dgn 'May'....

i accept him on an early morning in May

after a single talk

after a 'little' fight

after all the tears gone right

but those were not whut really matter

d glory was d thing that need to be considered

he was able to touch my most sensitive part

of course nothing else accept my heart ;p

the more time we spent with each other

we knew we wanted to be together

sincerely hoping God will hear our prayer

just to think of this man i've come to adore

makes my feelings begin to soar

it amazes me how much i love this man today

the man i accept.... one early morning in May

miNah oPiss

hehehe...aku mungkin ter'hilang'kan diri aku buat seketika coz secara tidak langsung telah menjebakkan diri ke alam pekerjaan..huhuhu..praktikal mmg mcm keje aper sbb ader punch card.. mingle around with d veterens is quite an experience.. bertambah ilMu pengetahuan dan general knowledge.. kire aku tgH polish bakat bergosip aku arr..hahahaha... tapi if u guys realize, we can learn a lot dr our own observation, i mean kalo kite x rase sendirik environment tuh, x feel sendiri situasi tuh.. mmg lain.. lain betol lah..

em,ha!!ada dpt sorang kwn baru... 'andalusia'... (anak dara lanjut usia) ..umoq dh 35, shian dia masih soLo.. tp janji rock.. kalo kome nk tahu..aku skrg dah di nominasi dlm ktegori MINAH OPISSs.. my siBlings dok kutuk aku..deMe kata " sejak bile gheti baCe2 noveL nih woi" __huhuhu...akak andalusia nih la yg jaDik tokan..dia bwk bnyk2 novel soh aku bace sBb everytime dia cerita psL novel2 aku mesti x tahu satu aper..hahahahah...tapi bagus gak..kdg2 time keje, takde customer buat enquiries, aku bleh aa tamBah kosa kata ayat bunGa2 aku..tapi dah 3 buku aku bace nih sume psL kawin pakse.. lelaki org kaya anak datuk tp jahat suka poya2.. pompuan bdk baik wif great personalities... bcinta lps kawin.. pusing2 lagu tuh gak..
hurm... i dont believe in those craps... do you??

smlm dBa siap join high teA pelitawaNis ( persatuan biNi2 dan staf pompuan tNb ).semorang keNa pakai baju warne biru.. suppose mak aku pegi..tapi dia ader aktiviti perKep (persatuan bini2 dan staf pompuan poLis) plak,hahaha.kire aku ganti mak aku aa..pLus temankan rakan2 se'praktikal' yg lain.. dress up in BluE.. head to toes lah..x penah aku pakai serBa biru.. heels pun biru tuh!~ jgn lupa handbag skali/// hahahhahah... koRang dpt bygkn x betapa fenomeNa minah opis nih melanda aku.. =P

aku hidup dLm blues x besh.. bLues cLues better.. ( rabu ngn khamis, 9:30 pagi, hanya di TV3) hihihi...

melayu muDah lupa...

haitt..its been a while...last nite i just came back from BTN maran.. urm,not so good, not so bad..

1) nice food 6 times daily= good... do d dishes urself= bad!
2) 1st time experience abseiling= good.. ppl notice d diameter of ur butt = bad!
3) cute boys = good.. younger cute boys= bad!
4) well equipped air-conditioned hall= good... ZZZzz kena 'celak setan' = bad!
5) test my patience = good.. tawaf keliling surau ( situ jer 'port' baik) holding ur hanset up in d air 4 a single sms= bad!

huhuhu..but whut i can conclude from the BTN is perjuangan belum selesai..perjuangan Melayu belum selesai..perjuangan mahasiswa Melayu belum selesai............. fullstop.

yexhausteday = yesterday xtremely an exhausted day

hayyoo..... when i recall bout whut happened on sunDay, i wish i didnt wake up late because of altering this blog.. i didnt go to sepang..d*mn frustrated, thanks to my 'generous' unCLe..he stayed at my house for 2 nites, alah just visiting... n i followed him back to kL as i was heading back to Muadzam on tht particular sunday s well.. he already had 2 GS tickets wif him yet he refused to go,he said"alah, kalo skrg ni br bertolak dr perak,sure x sempat,dgn jln jem lg..x syok" ..i beg him to giv those tickets to me tapi H to d A to d R to d A.M..... geram betul... he asked me to take d earliest bus to muadzam which is at 6, his reason "dba kan demam lgpun bahaya gurls balik lewat2 mlm.."___huaAAa.. things became worse when i reached puduraya n noticed tht i missed d bus.. d next bus is at 11.30pm..so i hav 5 hours tht i know wud be filled wif my crazy alternatives of escaping stress..hahaha...i decided to go somewhere tht i can rest n chill.. my 1st option is go to kLcc n tido jap kt masjid sane..tp mcm da boring je..so i went to times square, i never been thr.. tp ive heard there got this biggest wayang in south east asiA.. so nk try usha tgk... i watched citer kartun ROBOTS..nice....but d thing tht i wana highlight here is d screen is so BIG..no its not big..its gigantic...no..its more thn tht...its enormously huge!!! my seat kt blkg skali, tp even dok blkg pun dba rase x cukup mata to see the screen side to side..its so big tht i cant even see the translation!!! (its not tht im too short ok..mind u..hehehe =p ) ... along the way i eat n eat n eat some more.. i went back to pudu but how "DBA: series of unfortunate event" betol lah... d bus was delayed untill 12.45...huaaAA..."tensen harah" (dah lama x guna ayat tuh... but thanks to d driver (i think he got d potential to replace coultard next season..hihi) smpai cpt jugak...nk jadikan crita lagi..d gate was locked n there stood the 3 of us calling pakgad, makgad,kakakgad, abg gad anygad..tp x de sape kat dlm pondok pengawal tuh..but d problem is, my ear managed to decode some tunes from SINAR.FM.. dgn x puas hati dan tak tahan lagi, dba pon panjat pagar depan apartment tuh, slamba... rupe2nyer.. pakgad tgh syok tdo dlm pondok tuh..dBa ketuk2 x mau baNgun plak tuh...ayyoo..shian bini dier,sure seksa.. huhuhu... there goes my exhausting day.. eh, satu part lg.. while my head was fantasizing how good it wud be to b in bed rite now, suddenly i saw someone was sleeping on my bed...hua,,,nk nangishhh rase... a fren of my fren tumpang tdo... last2 dba end up by sleeping in d living room wif my fellow blood sucking pet thinking "kalo bleh x nk bangun smpai 2 hari" ..... =P (adeh, berasap jari aku..)

setanisMe....
this n tht of dBot

my sis said these were teyoRR,,,hehehe
this n tht of dBot

dbottic cLan approved ___cheeRs!!!

i'm a bit emotionally n physically unstable rite now..i got a fever...F1 fever..hehehe... i really want to go to sepang tmrrw but im not only out of credit but money as well... pity huh..budget constraint sehh... tak dapek plak tiket pree thn nih... geraM betul... so i end up sitting in front of this pc thinking of whut else i can do besides reading the whole inbox again n again... then, voilA!! "nk buat blog sendirik lah..." terdetik dBa di dalam hati,huhuhu... so this is it... >>>deeboticclan approved.... (nk pikio nama pun pyh,hihihihi =p ) till then, testing2...puhh3, cuticura bedak hebat bau badan tiada!! hahahaha....